How Growing Up With Divorced Parents Changes How You Parent

There is no denying that growing up with divorced parents is hard. But, before I go into my parenting style, I do want to make a parentdivorcepoint that this is not a slam against single parents. Even though my parents were divorced throughout my entire life, I still view them in the brightest of lights. They co-parented as best as they could, they stepped up as both mom and dad when it was needed, and they tried. That’s all a child can ask for, effort.

So to all you single parents, keep up the great work of being a mother AND a father, you are truly an incredible parent.

And even though my life may take a different course someday, it is inevitable to know the future, I know I do not want my children to grow up with parents who are not together.

As great as my parents were, and are, I feel as if I missed out. I wasn’t able to see both my mom and dad everyday, I wasn’t able to enjoy outings as a family, going on vacations together, having both parents making an appearance at sporting and academic events. I was consistently going back and forth between houses, communicating between the two, and missing the other parent while away.

As for the children who grew up seeing their parent’s apparent love for one another, I envy you. But, I also feel as if I have a bigger drive for making my (future) marriage work. As a parent, I want to give my little ones everything that I did not have.

I want them to wake up to two parents who love one another, two parents simply enjoying one another’s company over breakfast.

Two parents who show their love, setting a high bar for their children, never wanting them to settle for less than they deserve.

Two parents who spend quality time one on one and with their family.

Two parents who set the example that hard work and dedication makes a relationship go a long way.

Two parents who do not try and find something new when something becomes broken but two parents who put in the effort to fix it.

I want my children to grow up with a put together family, not a broken home.

I wouldn’t say there’s a pressure on my shoulders to make my future marriage work, you never want to feel pressure in such a delicate, important aspect of your life.

But I feel dedication. I feel as if it’s the most important thing on my agenda besides my baby. Because as parents, all we want is to give our children what they deserve… and this is what I want to give mine.



Kayla, the creator behind Adventures of a Young Mother, is a mother who popped her little one out at the age of 21. Her goal is to help other young women by offering parenting advice, reviews for helpful items, and everything and anything motherhood.

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1 Comment
  • July 10, 2017

    I couldn’t agree more! My parents divorced when I was 2 and didn’t get along. I never really thought about it too much until I became a mother. But, it has definitely pushed me to keep my marriage strong and healthy. Great article!

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